the seasonal blogs from 2006 to 2009

---------spring ----------------summer--------------autumn-----------winter -------

2006 2007 20082006 2007 2008 20092006 2007 20082006 2007 2008
from Sep'2009 permanent website @ The Four Seasons of Haiku
Rain falling as mist
mutes the everyday mundane;
new leaf growth, singing.


David said...

i like the ideas here

but 'falls' rather than 'falling'

avoid the alliteration - replace 'mutes' with 'softens' and take out either 'everyday' or 'mundane'

last line
'but the new leaves singing'

i know it messes up the 575.

But what do I know?? almost nothing

Best wishes


nora said...

I like this one, Rachel. Would you consider relinquishing 575? It was hard for me to accept that a "true haiku" wasn't a prescribed syllabic form, but my poems are better for it, I think.

You have good poetic voice that will really sing, freed from all that counting.