tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8509035047474202604.post658438407714181363..comments2023-06-01T13:16:56.579+01:00Comments on Spring Haiku 2009: Beatrice Vhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09492224274542764248noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8509035047474202604.post-30117830432576222232009-04-18T16:57:00.000+01:002009-04-18T16:57:00.000+01:00I like this one, Rachel. Would you consider relinq...I like this one, Rachel. Would you consider relinquishing 575? It was hard for me to accept that a "true haiku" wasn't a prescribed syllabic form, but my poems are better for it, I think. <br /><br />You have good poetic voice that will really sing, freed from all that counting.norahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02228725106863747984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8509035047474202604.post-57612273109938365942009-04-16T09:00:00.000+01:002009-04-16T09:00:00.000+01:00i like the ideas here
but 'falls' rather than 'fa...i like the ideas here<br /><br />but 'falls' rather than 'falling'<br /><br />avoid the alliteration - replace 'mutes' with 'softens' and take out either 'everyday' or 'mundane'<br /><br />last line<br />'but the new leaves singing'<br /><br />i know it messes up the 575.<br /><br />But what do I know?? almost nothing<br /><br />Best wishes <br /><br />DavidDavidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14343643387576533616noreply@blogger.com