the seasonal blogs from 2006 to 2009

---------spring ----------------summer--------------autumn-----------winter -------

2006 2007 20082006 2007 2008 20092006 2007 20082006 2007 2008
from Sep'2009 permanent website @ The Four Seasons of Haiku
The hawthorn buds
are straining to become
Van Gogh's stars.
.

3 comments:

Alan Summers said...

Glorious!I found this to be incredibly uplifting.

My only suggestions would be to open it up by removing the punctuaton (period/full stop) and introducing a kireji by removing 'are'.

the hawthorn buds
straining to become
Van Gogh's stars
.

diana l. said...

Very nice. Your use of "straining" is wonderful. (I think Alan's suggestions do strengthen it.)

Dennis Tomlinson said...

Thank you for your comments, Alan and Diana. Alan's suggestions look like an improvement, while the sense of a process in the second line is retained. (I dropped my original thoughts of 'exploding' or some such word, which would have been too abrupt).