back from holidays -
petals of cherry tree
in the broom
***
retour de vacances -
des pétales de cerisier
dans les poils du balai
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4 comments:
Dear Damien,
I love this!
Did you mean to say something like this for the English-language version:
back from holidays -
petals of the cherry tree
in the broom's bristles or maybe...
back from holidays -
petals of the cherry tree
in the broom Wonderful haiku, very fresh, as always.
Thank you Linda and Alan
Alan, you're completely right : a big mistake in my translation. I keep your second version that appears to be lighter
Dear Damien,
You've tightened up my translation, and it's better. ;-)
It's a lovely sense haiku, beyond merely visual.
all my best,
Alan
Yes, I like this too.
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